I Spent All Night Finishing A Book Because I'm Trans, And So Was The Book
by alex shenstone
Dedicated to Kacen Callender.
Some of the friends were toxic, the deadname got
screamed in picture frames and the dad was scared.
It was best-friends-to-lovers which I usually don’t
like because it feels like such a straight thing to
happen rather than a pretty gay thing, but in the
end it was actually the right thing for everyone involved.
There were fuck-yous to racism, the patriarchy, and
the frustration of monetary wealth making someone
seem entitled as fuck, when at the end of the day the
gala-gliding parents treated their kid like fucking nothing.
There was a girl who could hack phones with her hands
and hack your fucking heart with her words like the
most powerful gashes of crimson paint.
She was the healthy, strong, embracing platonic hold
that I thought wouldn’t come, but she fucking came
through alongside the gays in love and the abusive
bastards discarded without question, and the clarity
that comes from battling your anxiety, and realising
that sometimes your dad needs time before he can call
you by your true name and that’s actually a good thing.
Someone needing time is not transphobia,
sometimes friends are as fierce as a glitter bomb,
and sometimes when you read two guys kissing
it makes you cry at five o’clock in the morning.
Sometimes, it’s a really good fucking book.
Alex Shenstone (He/Him) is a transgender, UK-based Creative Writing Masters student. He spends most of his time binge-watching TV shows, and he often gets inspired by the darker aspects of life. His debut poetry collection "Jack of All Tales" is out with Alien Buddha Press, plus he has other work out with Blood & Bourbon, Ghost Orchid Press, Daily Drunk Mag, Dreich and others. He can be found on Twitter at @AlexakaSatan and on Instagram at @_alexakasatan_